i love that sonic the hedgehog is a valentine’s day movie

i’ve been a sonic fan since sega genesis. i remember how excited i was when sonic 3 came out. sonic 3 & knuckles was my favorite game of all time for quite some time. i read the archie comics. i watched both cartoons. (i… totally didn’t enjoy sonic and tails getting tied up all the time way too much.) i played all the genesis games over and over again (yeah even sonic spinball). i cannot emphasize enough how much i love this franchise. heck, if you really want me to, i’ll defend sonic and the black knight or sonic unleashed. don’t tempt me. i’ll do it.

… y’know what, it’s worse than that. i watched all the cutscenes from sonic 06 (no i didn’t subject myself to the gameplay! don’t be ridiculous) and i kinda dug most of them. yes, really.

i kind of had to set most of my opinions about sonic aside to genuinely enjoy this. (i did genuinely enjoy it, though. i promise.)

i also had to ignore the fact that movie-sonic’s best friend is a freaking cop. so, there is that.

the first thing that really reached out and grabbed me by the heartstrings is the fact that baby sonic is concentrated adorableness and we did absolutely nothing as a species to deserve him. we should all be thankful.

the thing is, even when we move into the main narrative of the movie where several years have passed, sonic’s innate goodness and wholesomeness is still the main strength of the movie. his heart is so far in the right place that you just naturally find yourself rooting for him, so when he’s sad or sleepy or whatever else it’s just extra adorable (without compromising the fact that, y’know, he’s sonic! he’s pretty hecking cool!). just… someone please tell him cops are the bad guys. please. i’m sure he’ll get it if you explain it.

and honestly, i dug jim carrey as robotnik. i do appreciate the postscript suggesting that we’re going to get a more traditional portrayal of robotnik from him if there’s a sequel, but he was a heck of a lot of fun. one thing, though: they alluded to him and his assistant being, uh, “a thing” more than a few times, just come right out and say it, please? just let them be gay. please.

speaking of postscripts though, i gasped in joy when i saw our favorite beautiful, two-tailed, orange-furred trans girl appear on the scene. glad to know that we’re going to be assembling the furry polycule in future movies.

i still kind of wish they had just done a movie where sonic exists on the planet mobius, but as far as executing on this concept they did about as well as they possibly could have aside from the copaganda.


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